Damaged
by Kitsunefan203
Summary: Some people are damaged. Some are whole. Some are sane. Some are insane. For the rest of the Majority, they are mixture of the forementioned forms of state of mind...SquallXZell. Warning: Slight mention of rape at one point.


Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they belong to Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura.

AN: Slight mention of Rape near the SeiferSquall moment. The original text to this had some HARD Hetero sex and after rereading this at a later point, I edited a LOT out of that out of this to avoid not posting this...and to avoid posting it on () due to the content that was used in the original form of this fanfiction, but I perfer this verison up. If you aren't too cool w/ZellxSquall, then, I'm sorry ^^; I got bored and just wrote this as a kind of first attempt at this pairing...and I got the idea to write on this pairing based off a Doujin I downloaded sometime back and it just stuck. Kind of a different Final Fantasy that I don't really write on a lot, but, Heh, hope you guys enjoy.

Chapter 1

It's always harder to fall back into a pattern of true love after one has found themselves damaged from experiences of former relationships, that's how Zell found it to be; for as long as he had known, and all he ever knew was the back of another man or even woman's hand, pain brought on harsh words, cruel actions, actions of passion that were not filled or intended to be filled with love. They were just meant to be harsh, cruel, quick, and without any feeling of meaning anything of love, only a means to suffice the craving urge to pound something into the floor or other random surface. Everyone had always wondered and questioned the tattoo on Zell's face, some figured it was a way to hide or childishly play a "Connect the lines" with a childhood scar; others speculated it was to fulfill some secret masochist fantasy or fetish. Maybe that was why he always looked for relationships were pain could be inflicted, mentally, physically, and at times, on one or more occasions, verbal pain.

No one could ever figure him out. There was even a time when Zell had come to the SEED school bearing a slight limp and the smell of burnt flesh wafted on the breeze with his every step, moments later the classy, in a matter of speaking, suede clad Cowboy known as Irvine soon followed in Zell's wake. After much shifting and nearly screams in class, Zell that day had been told to go to the Infirmary where the Physician told him that he had a mild burn on his posterior. It looked a like brand mark with the markings of Irvine's initials and when he had been approached about it; he made no attempts to hide that it had been his handiwork. That afternoon, Zell would once again find himself out on his own like a kicked puppy, and the mockery of the men who had their turns with the young, little blonde.

"Hey Zell, is that a smoke trail or are you just blowing smoke out your ass?"

"How much is that rump roast of yours going for?"

"Hey! Show us your ass tattoo!"

They had all mocked him and all Zell was capable of doing was grinning and bearing it all while those that truly knew him watched in painful horror as to the horrific things being done to Zell, but he would always bounce back. Especially those that had left him for others, Irvine especially; the break up between the two of them was a psychological blow to his senses and a wake up call that no one man or even woman was ever going to want him; he was beneath them all.

It was all too real and ground into reality that to Irvine, Zell was just another notch on some belt of honor of how many people he had been with and it had been officially called off between them when Zell walked in on Irvine with another woman; if it wasn't enough, he knew the woman that Irvine was cheating on Zell with and it only seemed to make the semi friendship that the two had held at the time, hard to keep due to the oddity of how their friendship was now broken apart. Irvine's reaction to it was less then exciting and not unexpected, yet again, someone _else _was going to find themselves as just another trophy mark and notch into some secret trophy wall, and yet another heart was going to be broken, but it wasn't going to be the young woman's. Never once when passing in the halls did either man speak to one another and not a word was uttered between the man and the woman, now and again a call out to her to see how she was doing and only that, but never a word uttered to Zell. Some relationships are odd, hard to figure out, that's how it seemed for Squall Leonhart and Seifer Almsay, it was hard to figure out what made them a pair, but it was all too familiar as down the hall, similar sounds that had once been between Zell and Irvine could be heard. But they weren't vicious or loud; the pair was content to just bask in the feel of one another, without the idea of going into the need for skin to be hitting against skin, or so that what was the present situation. Neither one thought that either one had to be inside of one another, filling the other like an overstuffed pastry to really feel close to one another. It would start out a nip here, a bite there, a tongue loll against a particular part of the other, then the lips would start running over one another till at least one or another or both men's shirts were open or off completely. Fingers would run down, tracing each curve of each man's chest just to make the other shutter in other soft pleasure, making the one responsible for making the one experiencing it do it even more. The fingers would then move down to the fabric barriers between them, and a choice would be tossed up, cranked by the hand, fingered in the others tight hole or blown.

Some nights, neither one didn't know what decision was the better choice, there were nights were both men would find themselves blowing one another at the same time until one of them decided enough was enough, they didn't want the taste of their lover in one another's mouths. They wanted the pure and unkempt knowledge of seeing their lover's face when the finished them off by cranking them by a hand job, just seeing that little last moment of utter pleasure dot their face and seeing how their face looked when the other came was almost at times enough to make the other waiting his turn to come. But tonight, what would've been just another mindless night of mindless non fuck sex, just hand to member sex, turned into something else.

Soft grey eyes looked into the stormy ones in front of him, "Come again…what do you want me to do?"

"You heard me…I want you to submit to me tonight…be willing to be the little bitch while I fuck you raw…"the one that had suggested pushing into the soft eyed one's lips again, but the taste there was sour as the soft eyed one pushed his stormy one off of him, "What's wrong? Do you want me to be the submissive bitch?"

"No…" the soft eyed man didn't know what he wanted, "What brought all of this on? Why do you just now want actual sex…? Isn't what we do…the non flesh on flesh sex…isn't it good enough for you? Am I not pleasing you in the way you want to be pleased?"

Stormy eyes held his soft eyed one's face in his hands, "No, you're a perfect lover, Squall…I just want…I just want a little more extra, I heard from some older students about the use of toys to make your love life a little more exciting."

Squall, the soft eyed young man, pulled away from the stormy eyed one that would later become known as, "Seifer…we don't those kind of things, I like just being able to cuddle with you after our own special kind of sex…we don't need heated, cock in ass sex to prove we love one another…"

If only it had been that simple, Seifer was getting testy and lately; it had changed him for a different tune as he smacked the man upside the face, "Don't you EVER tell me what I don't need to do to prove I don't love you…" another smack was rendered to the man which knocked Squall out as his head connected with the headboard, knocking him out cold, "I'm getting what I want out of you, conscious or unconscious…"

The word 'unconscious' hazily registered with Squall before he loss consciousness; his mind was numb to the sounds of belts, leather, zippers or the sensation of something sticky yet wet as a bony feeling found itself up inside of him as well as the sounds of something hard being lubricated or the labored pants of Seifer. Nothing registered as the first thing he saw was stars across his vision in his unconscious state, over and over again, his mind saw white stars and once his body truly regained conscious, his mind had regained it half way through the intercourse, but it was incapable of administering actions to pull away or scream. His body regained all function after it was over and Seifer was gone, all that was left was a note scribbled quickly and the sight of two used condoms resting in his trash can as well as an empty tube of lube and a rubber glove. What had Seifer done to him during the state of unconscious functioning or understanding? Why did his body feel as if he had fallen off a cliff without the scratches and broken bones that would been associated with such feelings?

The minute Squall attempted to roll on his side and something wet seemed to leak out from his backside, something white and hints of red dotted it, it told him everything, "…Seifer…I thought you loved me…" Squall retreated into a half attempted ball as soft sobs and groans of pain with each shake of his shoulders, the shaking would render into his sore lower back, shooting the pain back up, reminding him of one simple fact; a lover that would rape you while you were unconscious, does not truly love you.

"When I call your name, let me know you're here," at the front of the classroom stood a blonde woman with her hair swept back from her face as she looked out over the classroom at the students, some looked less for wear.

Selphie seemed to look like she had spent a night at the bottom of a bottle and smelled like one, but she had managed to pull herself together to at least look decent whereas Zell seemed to stare off into oblivion, comatose in a way as roll call was called and once it reached to Squall, there was no response no matter how many times the name was called.

Seifer was not about to speak up even if the Teacher knew full well of his relationship with the student, Squall Leonhart, "Seifer, have you seen Squall?"

"I don't know, Quitis, we had a fight last night and we've called it quits, so he's not my problem anymore," Seifer shrugged as a cocky smirked crossed his features as he set his eyes onto Zell, "But I can tell you why Selphie is out of it this morning."

"Blow it out your ass, Seifer," Selphie was in no mood to be toyed with or made into the classroom spectacle as she glared at Seifer aside from giving him a less then friendly gesture.

"Both of you stop…" Quitis would've continued her line of thinking if it hadn't been for the sound of the classroom door at that moment opening to reveal a disheveled Squall Leonhart standing in the doorway, a slight limp in his step.

No one had ever seen Squall so out of place, he had always been cleaned up and ready for class and then for any assignment that could be assigned after the fact, but today was a different matter entirely. Everyone's attention was focused completely on Squall, even within the silence of the room, Zell managed to turn his attention towards the doorway. The sight of Squall standing there seemed to bring a faint light into Zell's eyes; he reminded him of how he had found Irvine, Irvine had been just as much a disheveled mess as Squall appeared to be, but Irvine had been heavily drinking before Zell had found him.

"…Sorry for being late, Quitis…I wasn't feeling so great this morning," Squall's heavy eyes managed to coldly stare in Seifer's general direction, "Seifer and I had a little bit of trouble with one another last night and…Who am I kidding…YOU ASSHOLE!"

Squall pulled from the weapon cabinet that stored the weapons for the students, his Gunblade as Squall charged over the desks at Seifer, "YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME AND THEN YOU DECIDE TO SCREW ME WHEN I'M UNCONSCIOUS! YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!"

The sound of a whip cracking over Squall's head, "Leonhart! Sit down now!"

"…You said you loved me…and how do you repay me…I hope you die you asshole…" Squall's weapon fell to the floor of the classroom as did Squall, none of his thoughts were his own at the moment; he was disoriented and anemic, "…Bas…ta…rd…"

Class continued on without Squall as he laid in the Infirmary as the Nurse watched over the seemingly disoriented Squall, "Mmnh…hmm…Nmh…wha…whe…where am I?" Squall managed to mumble out as every move to sit up was met by pain up his back.

"Glad to see I didn't have to stick a thermometer up your ass to make sure you were going to wake up," the Infirmary nurse remarked as she walked into, watching Squall suffer, "So, Leonhart, care to tell me what the Hell happened in that classroom and why your blood count was down this morning?"

Squall was not in the mood for one hundred questions, "Nothing happened…Seifer and I are through, end of story."

"That's not what I heard, I heard from your Teacher you threatened Seifer with your Gunblade and even without the man touching you, you passed out and after I did a blood sample on you…knowing full well you have no history of being anemic, it seems something is up with your blood count, not to mention the fact that the seat of your pants were wet and red," she saw Squall tense at the words as she sat on his bedside, "Now tell me…what really happened. Whatever you say here, it will be kept confidential…"


End file.
